ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:19 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
A Journey Into Nothingness (Part 1)

I feel like I’m out of this world.
I cannot understand
if this is reality
or if it is all a dream.
Fate is scaring me.
What will I become?
What will happen to me?
I do not want to find out
what sufferings await me.
I have the constant fear
of losing everything and everyone
at any moment, without any notice.
When that day comes
I will disappear with them.
Nothing can save me from those moments,
and for this I am anxious.
Slowly now I fall asleep
hoping to never wake up.

---

ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:19 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
A Journey Into Nothingness (Part 2)

I walk alone in a dark field
without ever coming to an end.
Hours and hours spent walking
and figuring out where I could arrive.
Fog and anxiety are rising,
such as the fear of dying now.
Wind howls in my ears
while I find my way into nothingness.
Thousands of souls are beside me
and I step through them
without seeing reactions.
I do not think they can't hear me.
I call them, they turn around,
but they don't respond.
Am I invisible or not? Answer me!
Am I real or incorporeal? Answer me!
I do not understand where I am.
I do not understand what I am.

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ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:19 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
Rain, Scars, And The Climb

Tears are falling like rain,
and tenderly they caress
my wounded skin.
I remember everything I lived.
Every scar on me is a painful memory.
I'm chasing sweet illusions of joy,
but it seems I can't reach them.
I'm swallowing Ketazolam pills,
for making my mind slowly numb.
I'm feeling so empty and sorrowful.
I only desire to die in this emptiness.
My subconcious is stopping me again
from falling down this climb.
Let me do it!
Don't stop me again!
Let me go!
Don't hold me right now!
All the treatments didn't work,
and I'm suicidal again.
I wish to sleep forever.
I don't care about living anymore.
My last breath will be exhaled
into deep, dark, waters.
Slowly sinking, dying, and resting
in the eternal peace given.

---

ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:20 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
Autumn Equinox (Ft. Atom Krieg)

Autumn equinox in my life came
and everything fell to the ground.
There is no end to this sorrow,
there is no further salvation.
Only solitude and emptiness
will coat my soul throughout my life.
And I am still thinking about you
walking away from me forever.
Your footsteps on the ground
are what remain in my thoughts
as the last memory of you,
as the last memory of us.
Red leaves now cover them.
They are covering everything
as a red mask on past times,
as an happy mask on my face.
You see this heart,
it's not ready to settle down.
It has been bruised and tossed around.
It has been shattered,
running after people who don't matter.
It has been ripped apart,
torn to shreds.
It's like this pain will never end.
Autumn equinox in my life came
and everything fell to the ground
as leaves from a dead tree,
as my body from the bridge.
Autumn equinox in my life came
and I'm slowly dying inside
as my heart is getting shredded
from the last words you said to me.

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ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:20 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
Hatred Towards Myself

I tried
to fight the urges.
I fell
into the darkness.
I fought the fight
which had no end.
I became
my own destroyer.
I tried,
I fell,
I fought,
I lost.
I have no one to blame but myself.
My failures are my own doing.
In the end it doesn't matter:
I hate everything I have become.

---

ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:21 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
Into The Darkness

The cold blade of Death
is over my bleeding wrist.
I'm fading away.
My life's unfair.
My heart's cold.
My horizon's far.
My dark and rotting soul
is lying in the deepest grave.
Is leaving my unholy life.
My life's unfair.
My heart's cold.
My horizon's far.
Leave me alone
to die by myself
in my solitude.

---

ARTofLITURGY ( off )
( 10:21 20-07-2017 )
Afraid Of Destiny
Sweet Illness Of Mine (Lifelover Cover)

The whiskey bottle's almost empty,
as well as the pack of smokes.
Been awake for several days now,
haunted by the memories.
My heart has become colder than this room,
long time since I felt joy or happiness.
All of the roses you planted have lost
their touch and faded away.
Thinking back on the good times we had,
when we would laugh.
The wind blew in your hair as we
drove across the country.
Not even all of the world's whores
can satisfy me anymore.
I've lost the spark and light,
nothing to hold close to my heart.
I keep staring at the chromed .45
lying on the living room table.
A moment of silence.

---

=Liturgy= ( off )
( 17:57 28-08-2017 )
Falaise
The Embrace Of Water

Waiting for the dawn of tomorrow
with these tears that fall in my reflection,
motionless close to this shore.

Moon light mirrored,
moon light mirrored in front of me
uncertain whether to abandon myself in the embrace of water,
as deep as the desperation in me.

I whisper words to the wind
carried somewhere
silent screams, never heard from anyone.

---

=Liturgy= ( off )
( 17:57 28-08-2017 )
Falaise
You Towards Me

It's my fault
please don't go, a cold cobweb wraps me
I do not know who to turn to
Who would listen, understand?
The days pass, they are all the same.

Among the trees, with the cold that hits me
I see you walking towards me
a ghost from the past,
an empty cloud inside.

It's my fault
please don't go.

---

=Liturgy= ( off )
( 17:57 28-08-2017 )
Falaise
Dreariness

A cold flame
that burns from the inside
fueled by emptiness,
It's dark all around
there is no one.

The last leaf falls
the last flower fades,
tears run through his face
looking in the void.

Broken heart,
broken person

only in dreams he's detached from reality,
imagining another life,
but dreams remain dreams.

---